Saturday, January 2, 2010

Running to Stand Still

Running to stand still, is the way my mom described me growing up. Always, looking to the next thing instead of enjoying the moment. I am coming to realize, I haven't changed much. Maybe, my restlessness has taken a more adult form, never the less, it is still the same sin of discontentment wrapped up in a different package.
The Lord has been quiet lately, or maybe, the noise of the world has gotten louder. Whatever the reason, I have had a hard time hearing the still small voice that I have grown to love. In the silence, I have found that my tendency to resort to discontentment and restlessness remains. In this restlessness my focus shifts from Him to me. In my every day pursuits I am focused on the mundane and not the eternal. Filling my thinking with the what's next and the if only.
What I am yearning for right now is more of Him and less of me. Actually, much more of Him and a whole lot less of me. Awaken me Lord. Fill me with your unfailing love.
I'm thankful that my Lord is gracious, slow to anger and abounding in love. He pardons my sins abundantly and not reluctantly. Despite my faithlessness He is faithful and just to forgive me of my sins and restore me to Himself.
Lord, forgive me for my vain pursuits. Forgive me for filling my time with the insignificant. Forgive me for my selfishness and discontentment.
Use me despite my failures, not for my glory, but for yours alone. Thank you for showing me the sin that resides below the surface and reminding me that apart from you there is no good thing within me. That good without you is worthless and meaningless.
Now I'm running toward the One who tells me, not one will be snatched out of my hand and trusting in the one who holds me in the palm of His hand.

1 comment:

The Kelleys said...

AMEN, sister!! My prayer for 2010 and may it be all our prayers!! LESS of us, Lord, LESS of the world. MORE, MORE, MORE of YOU!!

"those that seek Me will find Me, if they see Me with ALL of their heart" Matthew