Saturday, April 18, 2009

To Whom Shall We Go?

Jesus asked his disciples, "You do not want to leave too, do you? Simon Peter answered him, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe and know that you are the Holy One of God."
Where do you turn when life doesn't make sense? I want to share with you a moment of doubt. It is one of my most intimate moments with the Lord. A moment I never want to forget. This is one stone of many that I will cherish always. May I always be like Peter and say, "to whom shall I go?" And like Isaiah, "Apart from the Lord there is no God."
A couple of years ago I went on a walk alone. I was praying to God when all of a sudden I felt a wave of doubt sweep over me. One minute I was praising the Lord and the next minute I was doubting His very existence. 
Have you ever had one of those moments? Now, I'm not talking about a moment of doubting if He is going to come through for you? I'm talking about doubting His very existence? 
"I can't make sense of this situation so I'm going to assume there is no God." 
"Lord, I can't comprehend "why" so I'm going to walk away." 
"I'm just going to go through life as if you don't exist.
You see I couldn't make sense of Him. My finite mind couldn't comprehend His infinite power
Let me ask the question,"what is it about human nature that assumes that if we can't fully understand something than it must not be true?" 
If my finite mind can't comprehend an infinite powerful God than He must not exist? I became distraught. I felt hopeless, powerless and broken. I cried out to the Lord in faith. I confessed my unbelief and asked him to help me believe. Here is the analogy he gave me.

Liz, if Hollen (who was 2 at the time) asked you where she came from and how she came into the world and you told her in great detail about the sperm and the egg, implementation, and the stages of pregnancy. She would have no capacity to understand but does it make it any less real? 
Does her capacity to understand change the truth? 
Hollen who just saw Dumbo could choose to believe that the stork dropped her off in a sweet little basket with a note attached but that doesn't change the reality of how she came to be does it? 
You asking me and doubting me because you have no capacity to understand my nature is like Hollen asking you and expecting to understand the stages of child birth.
Where do you turn when doubt arises? This side of eternity we will have moments of doubt. I pray we will be like Simon Peter and say, "Lord, Whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life."
Picture above was taken by me. I couldn't resist using it as to me it captures pure worship and un-abandoned praise.


Wendy said...

I loved your really made me think. Hmmm. When I doubt...honestly, I probably drift in my faith and might avoid more serious conversations or reading the Bible...but thankfully my Spirit groans and speaks on my behalf at these times and eventually I see God again. Going on a walk and being in nature helps...He created it all. What a great question!!!

Jody Hedlund said...

Thank you! What an excellent post! You write beautifully and brought this topic of doubting God into such perspective. I hadn't considered understanding him from that angle before. But we are like children in our knowledge and wisdom!